And then he has to send a text like that. Like I am not worth the expense of his piff. Like I am the reason for all his monetary problems. I am not the reason for all the problems. Just because you want to blame someone for all the wrongs doesn’t mean you should point to the person nearest and dearest to you. I’m so sick and tired and upset at having to control and channel my emotions and feelings to a place to be dealt with at a later time because he doesn’t want to deal with them right now. The place where everything has been stored is nearly on the brink of bursting. I don’t ask for a lot even when I give a lot. Thank you for trying to make me happy but the problem resides not in me, but in you. Many thoughts are just swimming in my head wanting to burst verbally. Why do you get to call the shots and say you don’t want to do this anymore? What do I even say to that? Okay yes I deserve this? Okay yes, too bad oh shux me? I don’t care anymore. I don’t care. Why is it so hard to believe that and tell myself that? Because I do care and not caring is nearly impossible for me.
Every time something this happens it triggers a painful spot in my body that just links to all the other things that have ever happened to me making m feel like a piece of turd on the ground, completely hopeless, disgusting, and smelly. I would really hate being smelly like turd. But more than anything else, I hate not resolving things. Unresolved issues are one of my biggest pet peeves. There is just so much miscommunication. I don’t expect fancy dinners all the time and I am not ignorant to the money issue. Why do I want to be with someone that breaks my heart over and over again?
You just make me feel so fucking annoying and you don’t ever want to deal with me.
Why you don’t you try fucking dealing with your own problems before you try to solve other people’s relationship problems.
I fucking hate loving you. It's the worst thing in the world. When did innocent bliss become so fucking hard?
